Episode 73
S2EP73-John Kennedy-Neuroplasticity Unplugged: Rewire Your Family's Future!
John Kennedy, our guest today, is a neuroplastician and a brain coach extraordinaire, and he’s got some mind-blowing insights on how we can help our kiddos thrive, especially those who might be a little different! With over 35 years of experience in boosting performance in businesses, sports, and even the military, John’s mission is all about unleashing the brain's potential through neuroplasticity. We dive into how this amazing capability can help kids, particularly those with ADHD or autism, navigate the challenges they face. Plus, he shares some practical tips and fun activities that families can use to spark those brain connections at home. So, grab your headphones and get cozy, because we’re about to have a blast talking about brains, behaviors, and the power of repetition!
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Transcript
I now have the pleasure of introducing John Kennedy, neuroplastician.
Speaker A:John is a number one international best selling author, executive, brain coach, consultant and trainer and has helped organizations and leaders in business, sports and the military exceed performance expectations for over 35 years.
Speaker A:His innovative insights have been featured in numerous publications and he has been interviewed in a wide range of radio, Internet and TV broadcasts.
Speaker A:John has delivered keynotes and workshops all over the world for a wide variety of industries and branches of service.
Speaker A:His unique approach to improving operational, personal and mental agility has helped thousands of people in hundreds of companies, teams and military units become more confident, proficient and effective leaders.
Speaker A:Welcome John.
Speaker A:It is a pleasure to have you here.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:This is good.
Speaker B:I'm looking forward to this.
Speaker B:This will be fun.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker C:And this is one of these things, when I met John a couple of weeks ago before we got this set up, is like, oh my gosh, can you take what you're talking about with the bigger corporations, with the military, etc, could you come and talk about it on more of a family level?
Speaker C:And he said, absolutely, because even though he works with all those other places, he does have a heart for families and he really wants our parents to be able to help their children who are having difficulties in some of these ways.
Speaker C:So, John, the first thing I want to ask is what, how, what got you into this realm?
Speaker C:What, why does this become a passion to help with brains and who you help with and things like that?
Speaker A:35 Years is a long time to be playing with brains.
Speaker B:It's been a long day.
Speaker B:And so I've always been a serial innovator, right?
Speaker B:So everything from consulting, that's what I did with all the big companies.
Speaker B: ad returned from Iraq back in: Speaker B:And I thought, well, maybe I have a chance to help save lives as opposed to just helping companies make more money.
Speaker B:And I really dug into it.
Speaker B:I got invited to an event at the Marine Corps held every year, 29 palms, California.
Speaker B:And I really looked into the dangers of IEDs.
Speaker B:And I, and I realized that the key to success was intuition, right?
Speaker B:If our guys could anticipate danger, they had a better chance of surviving.
Speaker B:And so my whole.
Speaker B:I had one of these God wink moments where kind of said, okay, if I can do the same thing for the brain that I do for operations and make it more efficiently and use neuroplasticity, which is this incredible Capability.
Speaker B:God has given our brains a change from repetition.
Speaker B:That's why we get better when we repeat things.
Speaker B:Maybe I can make a difference.
Speaker B:And so what we found was so incredible.
Speaker B:Our first pilot, you know, know, big pilot, psychologists all over the place and officers all over the place to see if we can make a difference.
Speaker B:And what we found was not only were we able to improve the cognitive skills critical to surviving in combat, but also made a tremendous improvement in what we called the wounds, war, post somatic stress, you know, anxiety, concussions.
Speaker B:And so from the Marine Corps, it spread to Navy SEALs and snipers and pilots.
Speaker B:And at the same time, on the other end end of the spectrum, we also continue to take on more challenges of the mind and the brain.
Speaker B:And so that's why now we help so many women.
Speaker B:So what the reason that really.
Speaker B:You want to go back to your question?
Speaker B:I absolutely love what I do because I see people's lives, that lives change tremendously, and not just the people that I help, but their families and their friends.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So especially with kids, when you can improve a child's ability to be more normal, even better than normal, the whole family dynamic improves.
Speaker B:So that.
Speaker B:That's what really excites me about this.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:That's amazing.
Speaker C:Just so we can make sure we're all on the same plate, a lot of people probably heard of neuroplasticity and things like that, but can you explain a couple of those brain terms that we're going to be using throughout the episode that people might get stuck on?
Speaker C:And then we'll get you into another cool question.
Speaker C:We're kind of on the same vocabulary level, so.
Speaker B:So the best description, I think, that I found of neuroplasticity is by Norman Doidge in his book the Brain that Changes Itself.
Speaker B:That book was critical in helping me even understand how I might make this work.
Speaker B:So he basically defines it as everything we repeat, everything we do, we say or even think, when we repeat it, it changes the brain.
Speaker B:What I like about it, it's very functional and easy to understand.
Speaker B:It's not a lot of neuroscience, you know, what types of what parts of the brain, you know, forebrain, back, all these different things change.
Speaker B:We don't care about that.
Speaker B:What we repeat, we become.
Speaker B:So neurons that fire together, wire together.
Speaker A:And I was going to say that that's.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker A:That's a Joe Dispenza.
Speaker A:That's one of Joe Dispenza's things that he says.
Speaker A:Things that he says all the time.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:And it's true.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So and that's why it's important for your listeners to understand is whatever we repeat is what is going to form, especially when you're raising kids.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So if you can understand, if they're doing things we might not want them to be doing, go back and see what.
Speaker B:What are they repeating that's making this.
Speaker B:Have them do these things without thinking.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So take a step back, Help them understand, help them give a new process to follow, help them repeat that process, and we can change behaviors.
Speaker C:Perfect.
Speaker C:I want to also plug in here that, you know, as a teacher for so many years, I know that some of our kids need just a few repetitions, and then it works well for them.
Speaker C:And others need a lot repetition.
Speaker C:So be very aware of whenever your child seems to have difficulty.
Speaker C:It just means that they're a person that needs more repetitions to make things stick with them.
Speaker C:And that's okay.
Speaker C:Just keep doing it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:And the type of repetition is important.
Speaker B:So our whole approach to changing the brain is really based on the fact that up until the age of six or seven, our brains, as you know, are going through amazing changes.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Learning how to speak, learning how to walk, learning how to do all those things.
Speaker B:Well, the two most powerful influences on our brain's growth at that time are modeling from adults and interaction with our environment.
Speaker B:The interaction with environment is so important because it engages all parts of the brain, which is why you don't want your kids sitting on a phone all day long.
Speaker B:It's just not right.
Speaker B:It's very shallow.
Speaker B:It's not challenging the brain so much better.
Speaker B:Well, you know, get a bunch of kids together at a ball, throw them out in the field, they'll keep themselves occupied for hours.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Discovering new ways to do things, how to interact.
Speaker B:And all those are making really powerful changes in the brain, which, you know, sitting, looking at a phone will never do.
Speaker B:Will never do.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Matter of fact, I just saw an article, a study that was released, and this study has been working over the last 20 years.
Speaker C:And you may have seen it, but that the white matter that's in the brain, if I'm remembering this right, is actually super important, but it's decreasing the more they see kids on technology, unfortunately.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:The mileage.
Speaker C:Something parents really need to pay attention to.
Speaker B:Yes, exactly.
Speaker B:And I remember, you know, it's so ironic how things change.
Speaker B:I remember many years ago, some dad made a big deal because he said, a book is a broken iPad.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
Speaker B:You got it backwards.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So so the digital is good for content, right?
Speaker B:You can learn content.
Speaker B:But as far as.
Speaker B:I mean, even the fact of kids when they're young, you know, when you read, it's so important to read to kids because even if they don't know what you're saying, they're modeling it.
Speaker B:And you know what kids will do?
Speaker B:Babies, they'll start repeating.
Speaker B:They'll make up their own words.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But doing that.
Speaker B:But when they're doing a book, you're holding it in your hand, you're scanning.
Speaker B:You're using all parts of your brain to do something simple as opposed to.
Speaker B:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Little kids are so, so cool when they do that, because the more that we engage, the stronger those connections happen.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I learned to read before I went to school because my mom read to me and we had these little books and on.
Speaker A:And they'd go, ding.
Speaker A:And then you would turn the page so you could keep up with the pictures.
Speaker A:And then one day I realized that I was reading the book, so it wasn't something that is like, oh, hey, wow, look, I can read.
Speaker A:Kind of.
Speaker A:It surprised me, right?
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And it was because I had it in my hands.
Speaker A:I was playing with it all the time.
Speaker A:I was listening to it.
Speaker A:There were so many modes.
Speaker A:And my mom read to us, and.
Speaker B:That's so important, that modeling from us.
Speaker B:So another thing that parents need to realize is you can put your kids on a book, but if the mom or dad is always on a phone, that's what they're modeling.
Speaker B:Because kids want to model their parents or their other influences in their lives.
Speaker B:And so it's so important for us to control our own impulses or behaviors to set that good example for our.
Speaker A:Kids, you know, that it actually kind of brought up something funny because my mom would usually stop at a part of the book right where we wanted them to keep going, and he's like, whoa.
Speaker A:So it's like, oh, I should do that.
Speaker A:It's like, oh, you want to keep going?
Speaker A:Do it yourself.
Speaker A:Learn how to read.
Speaker A:If you're not going to learn how to read, you got to wait till I'm ready to it.
Speaker C:Even as a teacher, I would do that every once in a while.
Speaker C:I get to kind of a really good part in the book is like, oh, guys, we're out of time.
Speaker C:And then I'll be begging.
Speaker C:He's like, please keep going.
Speaker C:Can't we have just five more minutes of story time?
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker B:That's great.
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker C:So let's talk about kiddos.
Speaker C:Who might fall into this category of ADHD or autism or those, those whose brains are working differently and we know that because of different behaviors and things like that.
Speaker C:Is there something that you can give our parents?
Speaker C:Like maybe can you change this one thing or maybe you can do this one activity that might help them a little bit and so we can maybe help these families a little bit more.
Speaker B:Well, and that's a good question.
Speaker B:So I work with so many neurodiverse, what we call neurodiverse kids.
Speaker B:Yeah, so, so, so my experience is mainly from our program that we developed and, and, and maybe parents could do something with it.
Speaker B:But the reason it's so effective for all any neurodiversity is it's very, very simple.
Speaker B:But it makes the brain work really, really hard to accomplish it.
Speaker B:So a lot of times like ADHD or autism, whatever, they can get overwhelmed and so forth.
Speaker B:But when you give, our brains will always try to do what we ask it to do until it can't do it anymore.
Speaker B:And so our exercises basically are so simple.
Speaker B:They're just symbols that a 5 year old, but in fact my daughter was 5 when I developed this for the Marine Corps.
Speaker B:And when you do these simple, very simple symbols, your brain has to work really hard to do the way we ask it to do.
Speaker B:So that's why so much.
Speaker B:And in order to do it, you have to focus.
Speaker B:That's why it helps ADHD.
Speaker B:With autism, it kind of opens up all parts of the brain to extend that.
Speaker B:You know, with autism, the common theme is it's a filtering issue.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So if you can't filter, that's what they want to do, they want to shut down.
Speaker B:So we've had tremendous success with this just breaking through that, the filtering.
Speaker B:I'm trying to describe it in a way that your, your, your listeners could do without taking my program.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I don't want to.
Speaker C:Right, exactly.
Speaker B:But basically something simple.
Speaker B:Even, even as far as reading a book and having them just.
Speaker B:If they're, if they can read, great.
Speaker B:If they can't read or even so, even if they're non verbal, if they can try to mouth the words.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So what they're doing is they're imitating you.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker B:They're mouthing the words.
Speaker B:In fact, we're working right now with an 8 year old autistic boy and he, he can't, he's non verbal.
Speaker B:But there are certain symbols that he knows he likes.
Speaker B:In fact, one of them are these little dolls that represent emotions.
Speaker B:He can identify those and he knows his colors.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Anytime you can get your kids to make two different decisions from the same symbol, it seems sounds so simple, but it involves different parts of the brain.
Speaker B:And even if they're non verbal, if they can start trying to speak, they're starting to make those connections stronger.
Speaker B:And with neural plasticity, the more we push ourselves, the more everything before that becomes easier.
Speaker B:And so that's why it's a continuous pushing a little bit, pushing a little bit.
Speaker B:Never so hard, it gets discouraging, but always a little bit harder.
Speaker B:So the brain will change to handle the load that we're giving it.
Speaker C:I love that.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Because.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:As you.
Speaker C:And we do that with kids a lot.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:It's like, here's the first step.
Speaker C:Awesome.
Speaker C:Now that you have first step, now do step one and step two.
Speaker C:And then as they get older, oh, now here's step one, two, three.
Speaker C:Let's do that together.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And along those lines, one thing in research has supported this.
Speaker B:It's interesting that as your child gets better, you don't want to praise them for the results.
Speaker B:You want to praise them for the effort.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because then they think, you know, if they don't get the praise for the results, they think they're not doing well.
Speaker B:But if you praise them for the effort, then they're going to want to keep trying even if they fail.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:They're going to continue to, to try to get better at whatever you're asking them to do.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I've been trying to train myself with that for the last several years.
Speaker A:And if you can get your kids to do it way better than trying to, their, their neuroplasticity when they're young is way.
Speaker A:It's like play doh.
Speaker A:The older it gets it, it's still plastic, but it's sometimes a little, a little harder.
Speaker A:So yeah, some, some of the stuff that, that you're talking about is like, yeah, that sounds, it's so easy to say, but then to actually implement that in your life.
Speaker A:So in the starting slow, it is like not pushing yourself, backing up that.
Speaker A:In our day and age, in our microwave day and age, where we want everything now, it's like, oh, new development.
Speaker A:Okay, I choose this new habit.
Speaker A:Boom.
Speaker A:It's like, oh, I don't have it.
Speaker A:Oh, well, so how do we start?
Speaker A:What is, how do we get through that resistance to actually continue the repetitions through the resistance until we develop that habit?
Speaker B:Well, it's a good question.
Speaker B:I think part of it is you want to have a successive series of events so and that.
Speaker B:Because then if you can anticipate something, if you're not quite sure of it, it's not too hard, but enough, you might be able.
Speaker B:Then that is a dopamine release.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So the anticipation.
Speaker B:And then when you accomplish it, there's endorphins.
Speaker B:So you can feel really good with micro steps and keep pushing.
Speaker B:So it's interesting.
Speaker B:It's the same thing with habits.
Speaker B:So if one of the.
Speaker B:So I developed a way help anybody change any habit in 30 minutes or less, not 30 days.
Speaker B:But in order to do that, we have to use the principles of neuroplasticity.
Speaker B:So in order.
Speaker B:If you want to make a real change in your life, you have to engage all parts of your body with your brain that are involved in what that habit wants to be or what you want it to do.
Speaker B:Because as long as our brain is focused on making decisions, the more parts of the body use at the same time, the stronger all those connections to the body get.
Speaker B:And so it just makes it easier to continue to proceed, to progress.
Speaker C:There we go.
Speaker C:That makes sense.
Speaker C:It's kind of like whenever I was teaching a lot, and I was.
Speaker C:So when I work with kids, it's like there's like, different learning styles, and the more learning styles you can hit in that activity.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:The more they understand it, the better they connect to it and they remember it later.
Speaker B:Right, exactly.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:And the more it solidifies.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker A:I took a, like, a memory course and on memory, memorizing names, and it's like there was like eight different ways to do it.
Speaker A:And so, like, you would write it down, you would sing it in a song in your head.
Speaker A:You would use visuals.
Speaker A:So there was like, several different things.
Speaker A:And as you developed it, you could, like, narrow it down into the few that worked for you.
Speaker A:But one that kind.
Speaker A:Like, even if you're like, invisibly draw the name, it.
Speaker A:It helps cement names in your head.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And still a challenge with me.
Speaker C:And you got a lot better at.
Speaker A:It, and I'm a little, little better, I guess.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:One of the things you were talking about is like, you know, those micro steps, those little steps steps, and, you know, having the kids be kind of intrinsic.
Speaker C:Intrinsically motivated.
Speaker C:One of the key words that I use with my kids all the time was, yet I just haven't mastered it yet.
Speaker C:Or I just can't do it all yet, because that triggers the brain to say, I'm working on it.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:It doesn't have to be perfect right now.
Speaker B:Very good.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No, that's a great.
Speaker B:And just internalize that concept.
Speaker B:Not yet.
Speaker B:Keep going.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But not yet.
Speaker B:Oh, that's great.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Very good.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:There's a lot of stuff that my.
Speaker A:Again, I'm trying so hard not to make this about me because all of the stuff you're talking about is stuff that I'm implementing in my life.
Speaker A:Trying to put myself back together would be a good way to put it.
Speaker A:So I under.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's like all of this stuff, and I'm developing new habits and I'm running into these resistances and I'm noticing.
Speaker A:And I'm putting a little interrupt in place.
Speaker A:And that little interrupt the next time makes it easier to make that interrupt.
Speaker A:So all of the stuff you're talking, the repetition, but I've also, with the brain damage, lost my sense of time.
Speaker A:So if I did something today, then it's like, great, then that's my new baseline because I don't remember before that.
Speaker A:And if I go backwards and every like half a step backwards seems like I'm losing a lot, even though I'm way farther ahead.
Speaker A:So there's interesting aspects to what you're talking about, but I talk with lots of other people who have these same.
Speaker A:They're just not quite as intimately aware of it as I am at the moment because of how hyper focused you have to be on how hyper focused I kind of have to be right now.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Well, it's interesting you mentioned the pause, because the pause is a very important, especially for kids, a very important concept to integrate into what's happening.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So one of the ways we use pauses is when you can pause and then think ahead of, like the next three to five things you have to do.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And so you put in your mind first, and then you go ahead and you do it and you want to match them up.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's even.
Speaker B:Even like, kid.
Speaker B:Even if you're watching like a movie or something, right.
Speaker B:With your kids, you could say, okay, who do you think the bad guy is?
Speaker B:What do you think is going to happen at the end?
Speaker B:How is it going to get there?
Speaker B:And so they have to start now looking ahead, anticipating what's going to happen.
Speaker B:And they were wrong.
Speaker B:They're wrong.
Speaker B:Doesn't matter.
Speaker B:It's only a movie.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:But over time, they can start to match that up with reality and it improves their ability to sequence, to look ahead the order of things as opposed to just everything ad hoc.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because a lot of times kids, they just.
Speaker B:Whatever happens.
Speaker B:So you want them to think ahead and try to follow what it's in their mind.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then over time, that becomes more and more accurate with practice.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Christina doesn't like it when I do that because she thinks I'm spoiling the movie.
Speaker A:And it's like, no, it's just this is the trajectory.
Speaker A:With all the stuff that's happened so far, it's gonna go this way.
Speaker A:And then it's does.
Speaker A:And she goes, how do you know that?
Speaker A:And it's like, it.
Speaker A:It just makes sense.
Speaker C:You can write it down, and you already know the answer, so that's why I say you're spoiling it.
Speaker B:Well, you could write it down, right.
Speaker B:And then she doesn't have to see it.
Speaker B:And at the end, you could.
Speaker B:You could show her.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:So, yeah, I did write it down.
Speaker C:It was like that.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker C:Awesome.
Speaker C:So, John, one of the questions that just popped into my head is that we know that when you feel safe, that usually you learn better.
Speaker C:Can you talk about why maybe that is such a key component, especially around, like, failure and stuff, when kids don't feel, like, safe to fail or whatever.
Speaker C:Talk about that safety and the brain connection with that.
Speaker A:And, you know, I'm going to wrap that back into public schools, because there's a lot of kids who in public school systems do not feel safe and have a hard time learning.
Speaker A:And as soon as they get out and as soon as they feel safe, if they, like, go to homeschooling or news, it's like they just take off and they, like, glow.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Well, it's interesting, I think.
Speaker B:Well, and I push back this a little bit, only from the military perspective.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So the Marines had a program called Combat Hunter, and the whole idea was to train Marines how to operate in an urban environment where everything was asymmetric and nothing was safe.
Speaker B:And so part of it was being able to succeed in an unsafe environment, which heightens adrenaline, heightens all these different things.
Speaker B:But obviously, with kids in school, we don't want that.
Speaker B:We want them to be safe.
Speaker B:I did some work, actually, with some inner city ministries in Chicago, and that was one of the things we had to overcome was trauma from ace, you know, acquired childhood trauma.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker B:And some were much more resilient than others.
Speaker B:And I think part of that is creating a safety feeling for themselves that comes from self esteem.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And parents can help kids so much with that.
Speaker B:That's okay to fail.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:We.
Speaker A:We're here.
Speaker B:We love you.
Speaker B:No matter what happens, we're here.
Speaker B:And I think a lot of that creates that safety is from, you know, if the school system isn't doing it and are not, it comes from the family, from the home.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:That, that, that safety so that they're more willing to try things, to stretch themselves.
Speaker B:And so then in an environment like that where it's not safe, it'll help them create those boundaries.
Speaker B:You know, do I, you know, whatever.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:To be more sensitive to those situations but have confidence where they are.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:Because you don't want in it.
Speaker B:You don't want to be fearful, you don't want to live your life fearfully.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So you want to be confident where you are so you can make those decisions if you make them.
Speaker B:And it's the other thing really important for parents, it's part of our program at a deep level is it's okay to make mistakes.
Speaker B:That is such a powerful anxiety reliever that.
Speaker B:And again, comes from the family.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:It's okay to make mistakes.
Speaker B:We love you anyway.
Speaker B:Only God's perfect.
Speaker B:We don't care about that.
Speaker B:And I think being okay to make mistakes can also help.
Speaker B:In an unsafe environment, people feel safe.
Speaker B:So anyway, that's kind of around the psychological aspects of that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because even still today, sometimes it doesn't feel safe.
Speaker A:Oh, I might lose my job or people might laugh.
Speaker A:Oh, this or that.
Speaker A:And that creates suffering.
Speaker A:It's like, what are other people gonna think?
Speaker A:And it's like, it's.
Speaker A:If you have that thought process, that's all the time that's going to be suffering.
Speaker A:So it's like, let's not think about what other people are going to think.
Speaker A:How do we.
Speaker A:Is.
Speaker A:Does your program cover stuff like that as well?
Speaker B:Oh, absolutely.
Speaker B:So, so one of the keys to my program, which makes it different than almost anything out there, is we actually really stress not stopping to fix mistakes.
Speaker B:Most people, especially older people, really struggle with that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because our whole.
Speaker B:One woman started crying once when I told her that.
Speaker B:She said, my whole life was told to be perfect.
Speaker B:But when you can remove that stress of having to be perfect, it relieves anxiety, it helps you relax, and it also builds in better attention.
Speaker B:Because as you're going through the exercises and you make a mistake, you're going to be aware of it, but you have a choice now, do I fix it or not fix it?
Speaker B:And that's so true in life too.
Speaker B:How often do we make mistakes?
Speaker B:We spend so much time, but it's not that big a deal.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so, and so the big deal, big issues, you want to go back and fix them.
Speaker B:Otherwise you just keep going, going.
Speaker C:Oh my gosh.
Speaker C:I just made a connection.
Speaker C:I've been a dancer my whole life and when my dance instructor was talking about performances, especially like on stage, because I performed on stage, she's like, the people don't know your choreography.
Speaker C:And if you make a mistake, you just keep moving.
Speaker C:You pick up the next step and you keep going.
Speaker C:And this era of I meant to do that and I've been told all my life, like, oh my gosh, you just kind of like keep moving.
Speaker C:You just keep persevering.
Speaker C:I'm wondering if some of that early training helped build that kind of resilience in my brain that, you know, like, oh, I meant to that do that or it wasn't that big of a deal that I made.
Speaker B:That kind of.
Speaker B:That was the Peewee Herman.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I meant to do that.
Speaker B:Do you remember that show?
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:I meant.
Speaker A:And you know, sports is the same way.
Speaker A:It's like you're out on the basketball or baseball.
Speaker A:It's like you run these plays, you drill these plays and then you get a team in front of you and it all falls apart and, and amazing things happen or not.
Speaker A:But it's all in the moment.
Speaker A:And that kind of, okay, well, he's there.
Speaker A:I'm supposed to go there.
Speaker A:Well, now I have to do this.
Speaker A:And that kind of flexibility because I was also very much an athlete, which led to a lot of the damage.
Speaker A:The repetitive concussive trauma is what the, is what the brain scan said because it wasn't all at once.
Speaker C:It was a.
Speaker B:Well.
Speaker B:And again, I work with a lot of athletes.
Speaker B:There's a college Wolves team I'm working.
Speaker B:And now one of my favorite, I think I told you, my quarterback, top quarterback in the Canadian Football League, one of my all time favorites.
Speaker B:I was on a session with her this morning.
Speaker B:Kat Perez, she's one of the top woman goalies in the world.
Speaker B:And so what happens is when you free yourself from that worrying about mistakes, then it's, it's not only not worried about the mistake, it's also getting back in the game.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker B:So if you're, you're playing basketball, the ball gets stolen, are you going to sit there and worry about it or are you going to have a strategy to get back in the game and recover?
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker A:Yeah, there's no thinking about it.
Speaker A:You just move.
Speaker A:It's like it's drilled into you.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:But if you don't have it drilled into you, you have to learn that.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker B:Well, exactly.
Speaker B:That's where the Neuroplasticity, the practice comes in and that's why.
Speaker B:So one of the things with my program is we take like, I don't know how many years of it, we compress it to very short amount of time.
Speaker B:And so in that very short amount of time, again, it's hard to describe.
Speaker B:You're going to go through it, I gotta take it through it.
Speaker C:We're gonna get it.
Speaker A:I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker A:Really.
Speaker A:Really I am.
Speaker A:There's a lot of things that I'm doing right now all around this.
Speaker A:So I'm, I'm in.
Speaker A:I'm fascinated.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:But again one of the reasons we had you come on to talk with our families and thing is like it's easier if we can do some of this stuff with our kids younger and get in place younger than later after a trauma or something.
Speaker B:Well, that's why I love what I actually reconnected.
Speaker B:I was, I can't remember Linda, I think was her name.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:To deal with the very early days.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So we, we reconnected.
Speaker B:I sent her some.
Speaker C:Awesome.
Speaker B:It's amazing that parents realize just how much of an influence they can have on kids from as soon as they're born.
Speaker C:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:You can start developing some of these cognitive skills at that age.
Speaker B:It's going to be with them for the, for the rest of their lives.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:And John's talking about Linda who was on our, our summit that we just had at the end of January.
Speaker C:So yeah, we'll be getting out clips of those and different pieces of those for people to listen to.
Speaker A:So here's kind of maybe a controversial question because we're talking about cognitive skills.
Speaker A:Do these help increase your intelligence as well or just your ability to use what you have?
Speaker B:That's a good question, I think.
Speaker B:So our perspective on the whole cognitive school thing is a little different than most people actually.
Speaker B:When I first started this for Marine Corps, we had an assessment of 14 different cognitive skills actually designed by Dennis Jenkins and Helgaro.
Speaker B:They were the Max Planck Institute.
Speaker B:They were involved in very early iq.
Speaker B:It was a non verbal test.
Speaker B:So many IQ tests, it's always controversial, but these were very specific cognitive skills.
Speaker B:And I've really, I've actually adopted several of those because I was a process guy into mental processes.
Speaker B:So for example.
Speaker B:So the skills we would call cognitive skills are things like analysis, synthesis, our ability to break things down into components and then categorization, which is our brain's ability to put them into manageable size chunks.
Speaker B:Classification is it red Is it blue?
Speaker B:What's important, what's not important?
Speaker B:And then synthesis, which is to pull them back together to be something useful, even if it's different than we started with.
Speaker B:Now those processes will manifest itself in IQ tests.
Speaker B:It'll manifest themselves in anything that we do.
Speaker B:So it's rather than trying to improve iq, what we're doing is trying to improve very specific, specific mental processes the brain needs or relies on to perform.
Speaker B:And it just manifests itself in all different kinds of ways.
Speaker C:Wow, that's cool.
Speaker A:Yeah, because those five that you listed, as you were listing them, it's like I, I do that as I'm walking around, I'll see a group of people, it's like this, this, this, this, and I'll arrange them like 30 or 40 different ways as I'm walking past them.
Speaker A:It's like I, I can't help it.
Speaker C:My, it's just the way your brain works.
Speaker A:It just does that.
Speaker A:I'll like walk by bananas like, oh, three, four, five, yellow, red.
Speaker A:And it's like.
Speaker A:So I, I, it's sometimes it's kind of tiring because it's like I can't, sometimes I have trouble turning it all of that off.
Speaker B:Well, and it's interesting because a couple more of those are pattern recognition, which is huge.
Speaker B:You're probably really good at pattern recognition.
Speaker B:And then abstract sequencing where all this data has to come together to something really, really concrete.
Speaker B:And then an extension of that is something that actually helped me get my contract with the special operations was we defined something called crinosens of this where the brain only pull everything's processing unconsciously.
Speaker B:So you're in flow state only what's necessary critical for Krino is synthesized for that decision.
Speaker B:So all that extra thinking you're talking about goes in the unconscious.
Speaker B:So you're not thinking about it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:When you need to make a decision, it's there, you execute on it and then you move on to the next decision.
Speaker B:So that's kind of what we're trying to do.
Speaker B:But it's interesting also, we all have a different makeup of these cognitive skills.
Speaker B:And going back to what I was talking about before, they're all formed usually before the age of 6 or 7 from interaction with environment and modeling from adults.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And traditional psychology used to say that our personalities were fixed.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So that's why I think I mentioned even on the podcast, I don't believe in personality tests because we can change personalities if we change the brain's ability to process information.
Speaker B:We can take an introvert to an extrovert.
Speaker B:We can.
Speaker B:All these different things can happen.
Speaker B:Their personality will actually change based on how well they process information in these different areas.
Speaker A:So I call that.
Speaker A:I call that character.
Speaker A:So I think there's actually three levels to that.
Speaker A:There's your instincts, there's your animal level.
Speaker A:It's like you're gonna jump when someone.
Speaker A:Like a loud bang.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:Then there's your personality, and.
Speaker A:And on top of that, you have your character.
Speaker A:So your personality is the cards that you have in your hand, and then your character is how you play that and the skills you build on top of that.
Speaker A:Because when then.
Speaker A:Then when stress hits your life, your character is the first thing that's going to break.
Speaker A:It's the most important thing you have, and it's the most fragile part of you.
Speaker A:But your character breaks first, and then you drop down to your personality.
Speaker A:And then if you're stressed, even overwhelms your personality, then you go back more into your animal survival.
Speaker A:I just have to make it through this kind of estate.
Speaker A:So I kind of agree with you.
Speaker A:Personality isn't locked, but it's more fingerprint.
Speaker A:Like, you can change it, like with.
Speaker A:With scars.
Speaker A:But the character is the part that you build, and that is more fragile.
Speaker B:Well, and that's interesting you talk about character, because another paired skills that I didn't mention is part of the sweet train is something called direction and orientation.
Speaker B:So orientation is critical, and it's critical to character.
Speaker B:We need to orient ourselves to a set of values, right?
Speaker B:It could be religious values, it could be family values.
Speaker B:It could be some sort of values.
Speaker B:And then direction is the ability to intrinsically know if we're moving away from it or towards it.
Speaker B:And that would impact character, right?
Speaker B:So if you have a good set of values, if you have a lousy set of values, you're gonna have bad character.
Speaker B:If you have a good set of values and you're aware of when you're moving away from it, and then you can move back to where you need to be.
Speaker B:That really defines character, right?
Speaker B:What we do when no one's looking.
Speaker C:So I absolutely love that because that just totally put into perspective why, when we work with families, values is one of the very first things that we go through.
Speaker C:We sit down and say, what are your family values?
Speaker C:What.
Speaker C:What do you hold strongest the most?
Speaker C:One of the questions that pops up with that lots of times is, what do you.
Speaker C:What.
Speaker C:How do you want to present yourself to the world?
Speaker C:Because those are those core, basic values that you and your family want to have.
Speaker C:And you just totally under.
Speaker C:Helped me understand why I felt so strongly about making sure that that was happening for our families.
Speaker B:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:And that's the basis for characters.
Speaker B:You're talking about her.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You have to have those values.
Speaker B:And then knowing whether you're moving towards them, away from them, especially under stressful situations, is when that your character can arise.
Speaker C:And some people might say, oh, man.
Speaker C:So you're imposing your values on your kids and you're going to make them.
Speaker C:You know, you create them in a certain way.
Speaker C:But no, you just explained it a different way.
Speaker C:It helps them understand where they're going and what they need to do.
Speaker C:And as they get older, they can make those choices that they.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm gonna take this biblical for a second.
Speaker A:Because the spare the rod, spoil the child.
Speaker A:That does not mean beat your children.
Speaker A:The rod of Moses was the.
Speaker A:The law, the value.
Speaker A:So if.
Speaker A:If you.
Speaker A:If you give them the law, if you give them the value, then they won't spoil.
Speaker A:And it's not like they'll be spoiled.
Speaker A:Well, I got everything I wanted.
Speaker A:They won't be rotten.
Speaker A:They won't turn from what's good and right and truthful.
Speaker A:So if you spare them the.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The truth, the values, then they won't have the values and they won't have character and they will spoil.
Speaker A:So it's not like they will be spoiled, but they will.
Speaker A:They will spoil like an.
Speaker A:Like an apple going back.
Speaker B:And that's part of.
Speaker B:Raise up a child of the way she should go.
Speaker B:And you won't depart from him.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so that's why it's.
Speaker B:And I love what you're doing with the values because it's important that the family is consistent with their values.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Otherwise it gets very confusing for kids.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So they have to be consistent with those values.
Speaker B:And again, modeling from adults, that's really critical for kids, you know, you.
Speaker B:Alex, also.
Speaker B:I still remember when I was a kid, we were going to.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:Where was it?
Speaker B:Is it Maine?
Speaker B:I think it was.
Speaker B:It was like a touristy kind of thing.
Speaker B:Thing.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And we walked in and we.
Speaker B:My dad forgot to pay, so he went all the way back to pay, even though he didn't have to.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:So those are the kind of things that impress kids, because when they see the parents doing what they say, then the kids are going to be much more likely to internalize that.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:We've walked out of stores and they missed something in the register.
Speaker A:And it's like looking.
Speaker A:It's like we we thought we should have paid more.
Speaker A:It's like, oh, hey, guys, you forgot to charge us for this.
Speaker A:Yeah, because that kind of honesty, that's hard.
Speaker A:That's hard honesty for a while, and then it just becomes part of who you are, and it becomes the most natural thing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I used to tell my daughter, I said, you know, an example of raising her up.
Speaker B:I said, you know, if you're falling behind someone and a 10 bill pops out of their pocket and they don't realize it, the question isn't, should I take it or not?
Speaker B:That's the wrong question.
Speaker B:The question question is something you asked yourself a long time ago.
Speaker B:Do I want to live like an honest person?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Do I yell at them or pick it up and chase them down?
Speaker A:Hey, you dropped something.
Speaker A:That's the question.
Speaker B:In the moment decision.
Speaker B:It's a.
Speaker B:It's a values decision that you make, and then that determines the in the moment decision.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker C:And one last thing on the values is that, you know, families can set out their values and they won't necessarily change, but they might shift based on the age of the child and what they can understand.
Speaker C:So for a while, this value might be high importance and teach a lot and things like that.
Speaker C:And then as they get older, another value might be a little bit more important to put in place.
Speaker C:Like I said, they don't really change, but they shift a little bit based on the family and the age of the child.
Speaker C:Yeah, right.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker C:Awesome.
Speaker C:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker C:This has been an excellent conversation.
Speaker C:What have we not covered that you were hoping we would cover today?
Speaker C:Was there something that you had written down?
Speaker C:Like, you know, I really want to make sure I say this while I'm on the.
Speaker C:On the podcast.
Speaker B:I think just from my experience with neuroplasticity.
Speaker B:I mean, you know, been doing this now for almost 20 years, and I just want parents to have hope.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So there is hope for your kids or for your family, no matter what the struggle is, if they can figure out what it is and re.
Speaker B:You know, define what you want to happen, repeat it, make it happen.
Speaker B:There's hope for.
Speaker B:For kids, whatever they're struggling with.
Speaker B:Families, if they can repeat, define it, repeat it, make it part of their lifestyle, it can change.
Speaker B:They can change their family.
Speaker C:Oh, I love that because, yeah, we have so many families, like, oh, my.
Speaker C:My child is, you know, so far down on skills, or my child is so dysregulated having that little bit of hope that.
Speaker C:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker C:That's beautiful.
Speaker B:Of course.
Speaker C:Tell Our parents tell our audience how they can get a hold of you or what is important information for.
Speaker C:Yeah, them to help make differences in their family and lives.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So actually, so we're in the process of rebranding.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:But right now the best way to get a hold of me is just my email john@combatbraintraining.com so it's combat brain training because it was developed for the military, right?
Speaker C:Yeah, so.
Speaker B:So we're kind of rebranding.
Speaker B:We're going to have whole new names and everything that aren't.
Speaker B:Don't sound so much like combat, but that's the best way to.
Speaker B:CombatBrainTraining.com is the website.
Speaker B:For now.
Speaker B:We're going to have accelerated mental performance.
Speaker B:We're going to have a number of different ones that might appeal more to people's names, but that's the best way to get hold of me.
Speaker B:And I'd love to talk to your people, make sure they mention the show.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker C:Absolutely.
Speaker B:And be happy to answer questions for them and talk about my program, whatever else they're interested in.
Speaker C:Perfect.
Speaker C:And everything, of course, is down in the show notes.
Speaker C:So, you know, don't worry about.
Speaker C:If you didn't write that down.
Speaker C:Go click, click on the show notes.
Speaker C:Go click on the email address.
Speaker C:Contact John and see.
Speaker A:I almost want to start ramping this, this conversation back up because it's.
Speaker A:We just kind of started hinting because the combat part of it, the military.
Speaker A:So I suffered a series of traumatic brain injuries and, and many of our military.
Speaker A:What finally helped me was psychedelic therapies.
Speaker A:And I ended up at a.
Speaker A:At a facility that helped a lot of veterans down in Mexico to, to go through what I went through.
Speaker A:And what I found out was about repetitive concussive trauma because of the repetitive firing of the rifles and the big things going off around them, the sounds rattle their brains back and forth and create a repetitive trauma that, that pretty much destroyed lives.
Speaker A:I know because I, I went through that rebuilding process.
Speaker A:Process with them.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:How.
Speaker A:How do, how does.
Speaker A:Do you work the same way?
Speaker A:Or is this like a. I'm not even sure how to ask that.
Speaker B:It's like.
Speaker B:So it's hard to describe.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Psych.
Speaker B:I don't do psychedelics.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:You know, but they can be very effective.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So the way I work is the same thing.
Speaker B:And again, you're going to experience it.
Speaker B:But what we do, what my program does, it rewires the brain.
Speaker B:Not to fix anything, but to be optimal.
Speaker B:And that's what I Love about it.
Speaker B:So dementia, a lot of vets, I work with a lot of vets with post traumatic stress, concussions and so forth.
Speaker B:And when the trauma, people with trauma, I don't fix the trauma, but we fix the symptoms.
Speaker B:So there's so many stories from Marines who had deployed several times.
Speaker B:One Marine saying how he would go to dinner with his wife, she'd pour ketchup on her burger, he'd freak out because it was bringing back.
Speaker B:Triggered by the blood.
Speaker B:And that all went away.
Speaker B:Completely went away.
Speaker B:And so on the anger issues, a lot of brain trauma creates anger issues, that frustration, that all goes away.
Speaker B:And again, we don't try to fix anything.
Speaker B:So the program for someone, a kid with autism or someone with dementia or someone with post traumatic stress, it's basically the same program.
Speaker B:Because we're not.
Speaker B:Again, we're not.
Speaker B:That's why you don't do assessments.
Speaker B:We don't try to fix anything.
Speaker B:We just want to train the brain to be optimal and all those symptoms go away.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker A:It's amazing because I'm also writing a book called Warnings Trigger that's about kind of the same thing, just a different way to look at it and about taking all of the, the, the shame and guilt out of the triggers and being able to re.
Speaker A:So I am, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm intrigued.
Speaker A:I'm in.
Speaker A:I'm so looking forward to working with you here too.
Speaker B:I'm looking forward to taking you through a demonstration.
Speaker B:You, you won't even.
Speaker B:You have no idea what you're going to experience.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:No different.
Speaker B:But you'll have fun.
Speaker C:And audience, this is your shot as well.
Speaker C:Contact John, especially if you have a young one, maybe you have a veteran in your life.
Speaker C:Contact him and let him see how he can help you and your family continue to grow and change and be the best that you can be.
Speaker C:Awesome, John, thank you for being here.
Speaker C:Thank you for all awesome information.
Speaker B:This is great.
Speaker B:Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker B:This has been great.
Speaker A:And John, again, thank you for being here.
Speaker A:So many people are out there that need the help that you have.
Speaker A:So many people are experts and don't know how to get out there.
Speaker A:And you're putting yourself out online.
Speaker A:You're actually an international.
Speaker A:You're going around the world.
Speaker A:So you're actually doing it.
Speaker A:You are a hero.
Speaker A:You are out making the world, world a better place for other people.
Speaker A:And, and that is like the highest calling.
Speaker A:So thank you for doing what you do.
Speaker A:Thank you for the hope that, that you've given me.
Speaker A:And I'm so looking forward to meeting you.
Speaker A:And hopefully that some parents as well, because it's like, you know, there, there is stuff that can be done.
Speaker A:So thank you for being here today.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Well, thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you for having me.
Speaker B:Thank you for what you're doing to help families.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:You're very, very welcome.
Speaker C:All right, audience, it is time, like, subscribe, subscribe, share.
Speaker C:Tell somebody about bringing education home and help families up level to the next level.
Speaker A:And tell somebody about John.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:All of that.
Speaker C:And, and so making sure that we're raising those happy, healthy and successful kids.
Speaker C:Until next week.
Speaker C:Until next time.
Speaker C:We will talk to you all later.
Speaker C:Bye for now.
Speaker B:Thanks, everybody.
